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Fear & Loathing in PHX

Updated: Mar 20, 2023

How my trip to see my Hot Lesbian Stripper Wife in Florida turned into a 48 hour high-speed race through the Arizona Desert.

January 11, 2023

Does it give you a warm fuzzy feeling knowing that a "damaged database file" can cause our entire airline industry to grind to a gasping halt?

Don’t get me wrong. This is not a gripe about anything. This isn’t even a whine. My life is higher powered, when things happen that make a mess of my plan- I usually roll with it. Most of the time things end up working out for the better. I am blessed beyond belief to have the means and ability to zig and zag appropriately and at whim. This is a story about gratitude.

It’s also a story about my hot exotic dancer wifey.

Natalie Loren… Bombshell of Green Bay and Saint Petersburg. Femme Fatale. Army Veteran. Multi-faceted, wickedly intelligent, deviously qualified to break your heart. YOUR heart, not mine. We will never break each other’s hearts, because we are in love forever.

We met back before she was Natalie and before I was Liv. We had exciting adventures together back before she ever had a pole between her legs. We were innocent and sweet back then. Now, still sweet, not so innocent anymore…

Natalie is a driven woman. She stacks up the cash and uses it wisely. And her latest purchase was a beautiful home in Florida. That she paid cash for. That’s so badass. I was heading down there to scoop her sexy little butt up and carry her over the threshold of her new bungalow.

But the FAA spoiled my plans.

So there I was, all packed and ready for the beach. Excited to see my sweet girl in Florida. At the Reno-Tahoe International Airport a ripple of a rumor starts to circulate.

“The FAA is shut down!”

“Cyber - Terrorists are hacking into our system”

“Russia is going to attack, no, China is- they both are!”



I was mostly ignoring this- with a little twinge of revel. I revel in chaos. And my flight was about to take off for PHX; where I would get a flight to Tampa.

Well, at least that’s what I thought was going to happen…

I arrived in Phoenix. Get on the next plane… and wait… and wait… get off the plane, get on a new plane, and wait… repeat.

I took a cab to Sprouts to get some lunch. I came back- flight delayed some more.

10 hours in the PHX airport. Everyone around me is totally freaking out. It was surreal.

Mind you, I’m in no hurry, really. It’s not a work situation, it’s a play time trip. So I’m just chilling, watching movies and doing computer work. I had a crystal prism that was Natalie’s housewarming gift, and I was shining it on people, giving them crystal baths.

Well… my flight never left. Crew time-outs were the culprit.

I was faced with 2 options…

Spend an extra 300 bucks to go back to Reno the next day.

Or receive $45 to go home in 2 days.

With my dreams of lounging on white sand in the sun dashed to pieces, I knew there was only 1 thing left for me to do.

Rent a bright red sports car and drive to the Grand Canyon.

So that’s what I did.

Now it’s about 11 pm, and Flagstaff is 2 and a half hours through the high desert.

I’d better step on it!


Checked in to the hotel about 2am, very nice little spot- Little America Flagstaff.

Of course the airline “lost” my bags. Even though I was grossly mis-packed for Flagstaff in January (3 bathing suits and tiny little dresses) it still would have been nice to have some fresh panties and my various lotions and potions. That’s ok though- this had turned into a Gonzo Adventure- and one those- I pack light.

The next day I zoomed at no less than 30 MPH over the speed limit north on 89, skirting the edge of the Painted Desert- to one of my favorite spots on this planet. The Grand Canyon. Doing 120 MPH in a rented cherry red sportscar through God’s Country was a spiritual experience that I highly recommend to anyone and everyone.

The next day I got to hike in Sedona. Where I photographed wild boar. Sedona also has the most expensive milkshakes and burgers that I have ever had. It was the definition of highway robbery. But, what can I do? Go to McDonalds? I don’t think they even have one of those in Sedona.

Now, I know you are probably asking yourself,

"Liv, did you Rock Out?"

Yes, yes I did. Rock n Roll is essential to any Gonzo adventure. Here is a sampling of my playlist:

All in all I would do that trip again in a heartbeat.

It was an amazing and unforgettable consolation prize, thank you FAA.

PS! Add Natelie Loren on your IG feed! Tell her that Liv sent you! xoxo

IG -> Natalie_InTheSheets


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